the wall

when i'm having a pub meal with mrs w, sometimes i like to build

a wall between us, so there is a kind of barrier between my meal

and the wretched vegetables / salads that she may have ordered.

this was at the bull and last on saturday afternoon.

so far so good.

i explained to the waitress that i wanted the cheeseburger and chips,

"but with no salad... no tomato, no lettuce, no cress, no salad at all, just burger,

cheese, bap and chips"

i couldn't have made myself any clearer.

things got better when a message came from the kitchen

"because you're not having any salad, the chef wants to know if you'd like some bacon

on the burger"

i replied to her question with another question of my own

( regarding the pope, his toiletry habits and the woods )

it was all going well for me... and then...

what the what ?!

in the interests of decency, i've put a mosaic mask over the offending items

but obviously i hadn't made myself clear enough. pretty close to the burger

( but not touching ) were a couple of green things. i think they were gherkins

but i'm not sure.

i wasn't that happy to be honest, but mrs w rescued the day by removing the

wretched greenery and taking the things over to her side of the wall.

i'm a big fan of the bull and last but that was a close call.