boxing day started well enough.
for breakfast i had this bad boy...
an olive oil and mandarin orange macaroon.
it was incredible. a bit like something willy wonka would make.
coffee turned up within minutes so i helped myself to another
i know it looks like a little beefburger but it was actually salted butter caramel.
boxing day took a turn for the worse when jess's little friend ribena turned up
i thought i'd given our security people strict instructions not to let her in...
but in the spirit of christmas we put up with her for an hour or so and listened to her
talking. at one point she paused for breath and one of us got a word in.
perhaps it was ribena's xmas present to us ?
as if seeing ribena wasn't bad enough, we were booked in to the boxing day
trip of shame... the family get together in longfield, kent.
it turned out to be nowhere near as bad as i'd imagined, for one thing the
johanson's are most excellent hosts and we got there early enough so that i could
choose my favourite seat... the gangster chair, right in the corner. from that position
i could see the entire room and could keep my eye on the front door.
sure, i was open to a possible sniper positioned in the garden, but i was assured
that the patio doors were bullet-proof.
i settled down in the corner and after convincing everybody that we should
"start eating before the higgs family turn up" gezza set to work in the kitchen.
after a short time she presented with me with a plate to keep me happy...
i wanted to pose for an official boxing day portrait, but
i couldn't see myself posing with many of the characters who would be attending
the get-together. also things were guaranteed to get nasty later on as the traditional
boxing day family quiz of shame would descend into a bad tempered
shouting match ( as it does every year )
so i figured if i was going to be photographed at all, i should do the simple thing
and just pose up with my loved ones. so that's what i did...
i was very happy in the corner with a plate of hot meat. i also insisted that an
offensive looking bowl of salad was placed on the corner of the table furthest
away from me... next to a vegetarian family member. it was all going well.
i pointed out to gezza that there was a space on the table for a bowl of chips
and bless her she said, "oh... would you like some chips mark ?"
quick as a flash i replied " yes please, but make them quickly so we can eat them
before the higgs family arrive"
it was good stuff, i heard somebody in the kitchen asking gezza about the chips
and she said " i'm making them now so we can eat them before the higgs family
turn up " ( yesssss ! my catch phrase was catching on )
well pretty soon i had this big bowl in my hands...
and i also persuaded gezza to knock up some gravy.
it was a good day to be honest.
we did eat before the higgs family turned up.
we did have a family quiz.
it did descend into a shouting match.
many thanks to gezza and el tel for being such great hosts.
to r-shack and mickey two-shoes, see you for a pub quiz soon.
to the rest of the family, see you next xmas !